Coping with Family Caregiver Burnout

Caring for an aging parent is one of the most meaningful acts of love and an equally great sacrifice. Many family caregivers take on daily responsibilities while quietly dealing with exhaustion, resentment, guilt, and grief. Burnout doesn’t happen all at once; it gradually builds as stress piles up. Gaining an understanding of why family caregiver burnout happens and your options for coping can help you to protect your health and your peace.

Key takeaways

• Caring for an aging parent often leads to stress and over time, physical and mental exhaustion—all signs of burnout.
• Senior caregivers are especially burdened due to the added physical stress.
• Having a solid support system, which includes mental healthcare, can ease the stress and help caregivers cope.

Why caregivers of aging parents can feel stressed

Family caregiving is a full-hearted responsibility. The stress often shows up before it becomes overwhelming. Research finds that caregivers’ quality of life is negatively impacted by taking care of loved ones. Caregiving is complex, emotional, and relentless, and many factors can contribute to mounting stress.

For some, caregiving reopens old wounds. The person you’re caring for may have caused you pain earlier in life, and unresolved trauma can resurface as you navigate mood swings, irritability, or emotional volatility. Even when a parent was once reliable and loving, watching their physical or cognitive decline can bring deep sadness and grief.

There’s also a quiet guilt that many caregivers don’t talk about: the guilt of resenting the time spent caring for a parent. You love your parent, but you sometimes wish for your own time back. This is a normal human response.

Caregivers also tend to absorb the emotional environment of their parent’s home. When their parent is dealing with untreated anxiety or exhibiting persistent negativity, it can be draining for the child. This may lead to the child ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid triggering any reactions from their parents, which can be exhausting.

The unique strain of senior-to-senior caregiving

Many caregivers today are older adults themselves. While younger adults may be responsible for their parents or grandparents, being over 65 and caring for your parents in their 80s and 90s can be more taxing than it is for younger adult children. Physical limitations make even simple tasks harder. Helping a parent with mobility issues, lifting them, or managing household chores is difficult when you have your own chronic conditions.

Navigating elder care can be equally emotionally taxing when you’re a senior yourself. You’re watching your parents decline while simultaneously navigating your own aging, which can bring up fear, sadness, or urgency.

Financial strain adds another level of stress, since both parent and child are probably living on a fixed income. Living within their means may make affording outside help next to impossible.

Signs you’re burning out

Signs of family caregiver burnout include chronic fatigue, headaches, changes in your sleep habits, having a short fuse, losing interest in being social, or feeling emotionally detached. Some caregivers find themselves feeling numb and maybe being absentminded.

Many caregivers may feel a sense of loss. After years of working, they are now spending their retirement years wrapped up in doctors’ appointments and supervising their older loved ones. They may have envisioned seeing the world, but instead they are tethered close to home.

Isolation can exacerbate the stress. While friends may be traveling, relaxing, or enjoying grandparenthood, caregivers often feel stuck at home and unable to participate.

And the emotional layer can be especially hard: caring for someone experiencing memory loss, a diminished filter, or decreased gratitude can create anger, frustration, and grief over the role reversal: you’re now parenting your parent.

Types of burnout

There are two types of burnout:

• Task burnout refers to physical chores, such as cooking, running errands, and helping with hygiene care. 
• Emotional burnout comes from trying to navigate someone else’s moods and expressions. 

Both types complicate the caregiving role and hurt the connection.

Practical strategies for family caregivers

Small, realistic adjustments like these can help restore your energy and lighten the emotional load when caring for elderly parents. 

Practicing self-care is essential for caregivers 

You should be making time for things that you enjoy, but also tackling the not-fun stuff that keeps you running such as getting that root canal you’ve been putting off or scheduling your mammogram. If it’s been a while since you did something you enjoy, you can commit to taking up a hobby or getting back into one you’ve neglected.

Seek an advocate

A social worker or a VA advocate (if your loved one is a veteran) can help you figure out which services your parent may qualify for, based on their insurance. You may be able to take advantage of day programs or even in-home care.

Outsource when you can

If you have difficulty completing certain tasks, or if they are a point of contention, try to figure out how to outsource them. Nowadays, you can have groceries and prescriptions delivered, and insurance may cover a shuttle to your parent’s medical appointments that conflict with your schedule.

Set boundaries

Figuring out what your boundaries are can help to protect your peace. These could be rules that protect you emotionally, such as refusing to engage with your loved one if they start to get verbally abusive. It could also mean turning off your ringer while you’re out to dinner with friends.

Other strategies that help include:

• Practicing mindfulness each morning before caregiving tasks begin
• Engaging siblings or friends to help
• Using adult day programs for supervised respite
• Talking openly with your parent about what tasks you can do, and what needs outside help

Therapy lightens the load for caregivers and aging parents

Family caregiver burnout isn’t a personal failure—it’s a predictable response to prolonged emotional, physical, and mental strain. Caring for an aging parent asks more of you than most people ever see. Acknowledging that weight is often the first step toward protecting your own well-being.

Research highlights the importance of mental health care for caregivers and aging parents alike, especially given the overlap between burnout, depression, and anxiety. This applies both to the person providing care and the person receiving it. 

Support can make caregiving more sustainable. When aging parents receive mental health care, caregivers often experience real relief in the form of fewer emotional crises, less tension, and healthier relationships overall. At the same time, caregivers deserve space to process their own grief, frustration, and exhaustion without judgment. Taking care of your mental health can, in turn, help you better support your loved one. Therapy can also create space to heal old wounds or unresolved family dynamics that may resurface when caring for an aging parent.

Rather than carrying the full emotional weight alone, you’re sharing it with a trained professional. That can make it easier to step out of crisis mode and return to your role as a son or daughter, not a counselor or problem-solver. Therapy doesn’t eliminate every challenge, but it can reduce emotional intensity and improve communication on both sides.

This is where Sailor Health can be a particularly helpful option. Sailor Health offers online therapy designed specifically for seniors and Medicare-eligible adults, making care accessible for those with mobility limitations or transportation challenges. All Sailor Health providers accept Medicare, and most of our Medicare patients have a $0 copay, removing a major barrier to getting support.

Sailor Health makes it easier for both caregivers and aging parents to get support, with online therapy that fits into real life: no travel, no waiting rooms, and no added stress. Whether you’re seeking help for your parent, yourself, or both, therapy can help lighten the load. Our therapists are experienced clinicians who specialize in senior mental health and understand the emotional realities of aging, caregiving, and family transitions. Many are older adults themselves, bringing both professional expertise and lived perspective to their work.

If you’re feeling stretched thin, reaching out for support now can help you move from surviving each day to caregiving with more calm, clarity, and compassion—for your parent and for yourself.

Caregiver Burnout FAQ

Caregiver burnout can raise a lot of questions, especially when the emotional toll feels confusing, isolating, or hard to put into words.

What is caregiver burnout?

Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that can happen when caregiving responsibilities are prolonged and overwhelming. It often includes feelings of fatigue, irritability, guilt, isolation, or emotional numbness. Burnout doesn’t mean you don’t love the person you care for—it means the demands have exceeded your available support.

What are the most common signs of caregiver burnout?

Common signs include chronic tiredness, trouble sleeping, frequent headaches or body aches, increased anger or impatience, withdrawing from friends or activities, and feeling hopeless or overwhelmed. Emotional signs—such as resentment, sadness, or feeling “on edge” all the time—are just as important as physical ones.

Is it normal to feel resentful or guilty as a caregiver?

Yes. Many caregivers feel resentment about lost time, independence, or retirement plans—and then feel guilty for having those feelings. These emotions are normal and common, especially in long-term caregiving. Acknowledging them without judgment can reduce shame and help prevent burnout from worsening.

How can caregivers get support without adding more stress?

Support doesn’t have to mean unmanageable expenses or logistics. Options like online therapy, respite care, meal delivery, or medication management can reduce daily pressure. Mental health support—especially therapy designed for seniors and caregivers—can help you process emotions, set boundaries, and feel less alone while navigating caregiving.

Sources

1. Alves, L. C. S., Monteiro, D. Q., Bento, S. R., Hayashi, V. D., Pelegrini, L. N. C., & Vale, F. A. C. (2019). Burnout syndrome in informal caregivers of older adults with dementia: A systematic review. Dementia & neuropsychologia, 13(4), 415–421. https://doi.org/10.1590/1980-57642018dn13-040008 
2. Goto, Y., Morita, K., Suematsu, M., Imaizumi, T., & Suzuki, Y. (2023). Caregiver Burdens, Health Risks, Coping and Interventions among Caregivers of Dementia Patients: A Review of the Literature. Internal medicine (Tokyo, Japan), 62(22), 3277–3282. https://doi.org/10.2169/internalmedicine.0911-22. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10713358/    
3. Soh, X. C., Hartanto, A., Ling, N., Reyes, M., Sim, L., & Majeed, N. M. (2025). Prevalence of depression, anxiety, burden, burnout, and stress in informal caregivers: An umbrella review of meta-analyses. Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics Plus, 2(3), 100197. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.aggp.2025.100197