Recognizing mental health warning signs in aging parents

Does your mom or dad seem more depressed or isolated lately? Do you notice unusual behaviors, like not taking proper care of themselves or their home? Do you simply have a hunch that your aging parents may be struggling with their mental health?

Seeing signs of mental illness in elderly parents can be unsettling and frightening. Suddenly, you are in the position of having to take care of someone who is supposed to take care of you, and this can be incredibly stressful. You may not know what to do or where to turn.

You’ve come to the right place. This article is for anyone with elderly parents who may be showing signs of mental health issues. We’ll go over some of the most common warning signs and what they mean. Most importantly, we’ll share some actionable steps you can take to help your parents get the support they need.

Key takeaways

• Common signs of mental health concerns in the elderly include mood changes, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, increased isolation, and prolonged grief after loss.
• Although 1 in 5 seniors deals with a mental health condition, most do not seek the care that they need, which is why support from family can be so essential.
• Therapy for seniors is an effective and empowering way to address mental health issues, so that your loved one can feel more like themselves again.

Why spotting red flags early is so important

It’s common to think that mental health issues don’t typically affect older people, but about 1 in 5 older adults experience a mental health issue. Mental health issues can be triggered by some of the life transitions that commonly impact older people, like retirement, medical issues, physical limitations, loneliness, or grief and loss. While some older people seem to adjust well to these changes, some have tougher times adapting.

Despite the prevalence of mental health issues in older people, up to 70% don’t seek the help and care that they need. When mental health goes untreated in older people, it increases the risk of disability and cognitive issues, substance misuse, and decreases overall quality of life.

This is why spotting the signs of mental health issues in seniors is so important. The sooner they receive the support they need, the better they will fare, the more content they will be, and the more likely they will be to live out their sunset years with peace, dignity, and satisfaction.

This is where you come in. It’s often family members who first notice the signs of mental health challenges in their parents—often even before friends, community members, or healthcare providers. But knowing which signs to pay attention to, and what they may mean, can be confusing.

Here are some of the most common signs of mental health issues in older adults.

Changes in mood and energy levels

Older adults are often less likely to come out and say, “I’m depressed,” or “I’m anxious.” Instead, they may show more outward signs of mood changes, including:

• Changes in energy levels
• Loss of appetite or increased appetite
• Disinterest in activities they used to be interested in
• Extra worried or stressed
• Emotionally numb
• Irritable or quick to anger
• Trouble focusing
• Being “on edge”

Signs like these can be signs of anxiety, depression, or other common mental health issues. The good news is that these conditions are highly treatable, with therapy, medication, or a combination of the two.

Increased isolation and loneliness

Elderly people are at much higher risk for social isolation and loneliness than younger populations. However, while social isolation and loneliness are more likely to strike older people, they are not “normal” parts of getting older. When an older adult seems uninterested in socializing or seems to be isolating themselves from family and friends, this is a sign that they are dealing with a mental health issue like depression.

It's important that isolation and loneliness be addressed, because they can lead to physical and mental health deterioration, poor nutrition, substance misuse and cognitive issues. Addressing loneliness and isolation in your loved one may include therapy, along with helping your parents locate meaningful activities and social connection in their community.

Insomnia or other sleep issues

Sleep needs and patterns change as we get older, but if you notice insomnia or other sleep issues in your parents, like waking frequently in the middle of the night, it might be time to investigate what is going on. Sleep problems are linked to mental health issues like depression and anxiety, and also can be a sign of Alzheimer’s or other dementias. That’s why it’s important to take your loved one to a healthcare provider or licensed therapist if they’re having significant issues sleeping.

Trouble taking care of their responsibilities

Did your mom or dad always dress and groom themselves impeccably, but is now wearing dirty clothing and looking generally unkempt? Is your parents’ garden suddenly overgrown? Is their house a mess and in serious disrepair? Are their bills not being paid?

When a senior begins neglecting themselves, their home, or things they are responsible for such as a vehicle or a pet, this is a sign that something is amiss with their mental health. Often, these are signs of depression. But they can also be signs of cognitive decline or dementia. Your healthcare provider or a licensed therapist can help you figure out what’s going on with your aging parents, so they can get the care they need.

Falling for scams and trouble with technology

According to the FTC, the number of seniors falling for scams increased fourfold between 2020 and 2024. Seniors are also more likely to struggle with new technologies and may have problematic online shopping behaviors, such as signing up for too many subscriptions, and ordering multiples of the same product. While some of this can be chalked up to old age, if it becomes an ongoing issue and has an impact on their finances, it’s a red flag that something more is going on.

Falling for scams, having serious trouble using technology, and getting into financial trouble can be signs of depression and loneliness, as well as signs of cognitive decline.

New physical complaints not related to a health condition

New physical health symptoms in your parents should always be addressed by a healthcare professional, to rule out anything serious. But it’s also important to keep in mind that seniors struggling with mental health often have physical signs as a primary symptom.

Some common physical symptoms that can signal a mental health struggle include:

• Stomachaches and other digestive issues
• Trouble sleeping
• Appetite changes
• Headaches
• Muscle tension and aches
• Feeling dizzy
• Extreme fatigue

A health or mental health professional can help you figure out if these are signs that your loved one is struggling with a mental health condition like depression or anxiety, or if there’s an underlying medical cause. 

Hoarding

A senior who lives alone with too much stuff—or too many animals—is a common stereotype. But it’s not normal, and can be a sign of a hoarding disorder. Hoarding disorder is defined as having an excessive accumulation of stuff that clutters up your living space. This isn’t the same as someone who collects interesting things. When people hoard, they have a fear of throwing things away and find comfort in the clutter.

Hoarding disorder tends to become more common with age, and impacts about 6% of adults over 70. It can have serious health consequences, and can be a sign of depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, and other mental health conditions. Sometimes hoarding is also a sign of dementia. This is why it’s important to take hoarding seriously and connect your loved one with a mental health professional for diagnosis and care. 

Prolonged grief that makes it hard to function

As people get older, they experience more loss as family members, close friends, and spouses pass away. Although grieving is a process that has its own timetable, when grief goes on for a prolonged period of time and makes it difficult for the person to function, they may be contending with complicated grief. Complicated grief often co-exists with anxiety and depression, all of which can be treated with therapy, and in some cases, medication. 

What to do if an elderly parent shows signs of a mental health condition

When it comes to aging parents and their mental health, sometimes simply addressing the issue is the hardest part. Many people from our parents’ generation feel shame and stigma surrounding mental health issues, and may have trouble hearing your concerns. But they will likely ultimately be relieved that someone is seeing the things they are struggling with and is here to walk the path of recovery with them. 

When to address mental health issues with your parent

It’s best to take a proactive approach with your parents, and address a mental health concern as soon as you see it. That’s because the longer a mental health condition goes unaddressed, the worse it can get, and the harder it may be for your loved one to accept treatment.

If you are unsure about whether your parents need care, you can encourage them to talk to their doctor—or, if they are willing, you can accompany them to a doctor’s appointment to share the symptoms you’ve noticed. Their doctor can help you figure out whether they may be dealing with a medical problem, or an issue that’s best addressed with therapy. 

How to approach the conversation

Having “the talk” with your parents about their mental health can be scary, but there are ways to navigate the conversation in a way that’s less distressing for both you and your parents.

Here are some tips:

• Use “I” statements rather than making this about them, or blaming them for their behaviors.
• Factually describe the symptoms and behaviors you are seeing without attaching judgment or conclusions about what it means.
• Practice active listening when asking your parents how they are feeling emotionally, and if they are struggling with anything.
• Normalize talking about mental health, and consider sharing the ways you’ve struggled with your mental health and how you’ve addressed it.
• Assure them that mental health support is available, it’s not just for mental health crises, and that it’s an effective way to help them feel better.
• Offer to help them find a mental health professional that they feel comfortable with. 

How Sailor Health can help

Sailor Health provides Medicare-covered mental health care to older adults over Zoom or a phone call. Our older, experienced providers offer expert guidance and compassionate support for the symptoms, behaviors, and life challenges seniors often struggle with. Most of our Medicare patients have a $0 copay.

Learn more our mission, or get started today and see how easy it is to help your senior parents connect with personalized, affordable mental health care from the comfort of home.

References

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4. National Institute of Mental Health (2024). Older Adults and Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/older-adults-and-mental-health
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6. Anxiety & Depression Association of America. (2025). Senior Women.  https://adaa.org/find-help-for/women/senior-women
7. Federal Trade Commission. (2025). False alarm, real scam: how scammers are stealing older adults’ life savings. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2025/08/false-alarm-real-scam-how-scammers-are-stealing-older-adults-life-savings
8. The U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging. 2024. The Consequences of Clutter. https://www.aging.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/the_consequences_of_clutter.pdf‍
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