Supporting an Older Parent with Anxiety

Your loved one is constantly worried and on edge, and seems to have a relentless need for reassurance. They may be asking you endless anxious questions, or complaining of anxiety-related symptoms, like stomachaches and headaches. However it manifests, watching an older parent experience anxiety can be downright stressful, heartbreaking, and exhausting.

The good news is that while anxiety is not a “normal” part of aging, it’s a treatable condition. Here, you’ll find communication tips, lifestyle strategies, and treatment options that can help your parent can get the support they need to feel more like themselves again.

Key takeaways

• Helpful ways to support elderly loved ones with anxiety include validating their feelings, being a good listener, and trying to remain calm yourself.
• You can teach your loved one techniques for managing their anxiety in the moment, and help them make lifestyle changes to decrease anxiety symptoms.
• Anxiety in older adults is common and treatable, and therapy is an effective method for helping older adults manage their anxiety symptoms. 

Recognizing the root cause of an older adult’s anxiety

Although increased anxiety is not a normal part of the aging process, it’s more common than you might think, with up to 28% of older adults experiencing anxiety symptoms. Anxiety isn’t just unpleasant and distressing. When an anxiety disorder goes untreated it can lead to decreased quality of life, difficulties in daily life, increased health issues, and an increased risk of developing dementia. 

Signs of anxiety in older adults

The first step in helping an older adult manage their anxiety is learning to recognize the signs.

Anxiety symptoms in older adults may be a little different than signs in younger adults. Overall, seniors may appear more irritable or stubborn when they’re anxious, and they may experience more somatic complaints (physical discomforts). Older adults are also more likely to experience health anxiety than younger people, as health issues tend to naturally increase as we age.

Other signs of anxiety in older adults can include:

• Constantly worrying, even about things that don’t seem to be a threat
• Increased concerns about health, finances, problems in the family, and possible disasters
• Trouble sleeping
• Difficulty concentrating
• Physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches, muscle tension and aches, sweating, nausea, fatigue, and chest pain
• Signs of depression, as depression often co-exists with anxiety
• Memory issues 

Anxiety triggers in older adults

Anxiety doesn’t just come out of nowhere. It usually has specific causes, and anxiety among seniors is often linked to some of the scary or challenging circumstances that come with aging.

Some of the most common triggers of anxiety in older populations include:

• A decrease in independence and needing more help with the activities of daily living
• Fewer social interactions
• Loss of a loved one
• Increase in medical issues
• Untreated mental illness
• Experience of stressful or traumatic events
• Memory loss or symptoms of dementia
• Health and financial anxieties 

Distinguishing anxiety from medical or cognitive causes

As you begin considering the question of how to support an elderly parent with anxiety, it’s vital to make sure they are dealing with anxiety, and not something else. In older individuals, certain medical or cognitive issues can be confused with anxiety. Likewise, certain medications can cause anxiety symptoms.

It’s always wise to have your loved one visit a medical doctor if they are showing new or worsening symptoms of anxiety. A doctor can help you figure out if:

• A new medication, or new medication dosage, might be causing symptoms of anxiety
• A health condition may be causing or exacerbating their anxiety
• Whether some of the physical signs of anxiety you are seeing—such as chest pressure, increased heart rate, or nausea—are caused by anxiety or an underlying health condition
• Whether your loved one is dealing with early signs of dementia, which might be exacerbating anxiety symptoms 

Communication tips for seniors with anxiety

Learning how to support someone with anxiety is all about learning ways to communicate more compassionately and effectively with them. Here are some tried-and-true tips. 

Don’t try to “solve” their problem

It can be tempting to go into problem-solving mode, listing ways that you can tackle your loved one’s worry head-on. While that might be helpful in the future, when you are dealing with their initial feelings of anxiety, this approach usually only fuels more anxiety. Instead, focus on validating their feelings and letting them share how they feel.

Logic and rationalization only backfires

Often fear and anxiety come from irrational places, and when we hear people say things that don’t make sense, our instinct is to explain why. But using logic to fight an irrational fear often backfires at first and you might find yourself arguing with your loved one rather than soothing their fears. Again, starting from a place of deep listening and validation words best here. 

Use validating phrases

Speaking of validation, here are some simple validating phrases you can consider using:

• “I hear that you're feeling scared right now”
• “I know that you're feeling afraid and alone right now. I'm here with you.”
• “Tell me more about how you're feeling.”
• “It must be so difficult for you right now.”
• “I can see that you're feeling overwhelmed right now and I’m here to support you.” 

Focus on non-verbal cues

It’s not just a matter of what you say when you are supporting someone with anxiety. The non-verbal cues and body language you use also make a difference. Keep in mind that seniors with hearing issues or cognitive deficits might pick up on these non-verbal cues even more than the words you choose.

Here are some tips:

• Speak slowly and calmly
• Take a breath or pause before speaking to calm yourself
• Sit down next to your loved one, rather than above them, or across the room from them
• Place a calming hand on their shoulder while speaking to them
• Check to make sure you’ve uncrossed your arms and relaxed your shoulders 

Resist the reassurance trap

Seniors who are anxious tend to ask the same anxious questions over and over. You may feel like you need to answer these questions to calm them down, but doing so often only reinforces the anxiety loop. Instead, you can consider “a distract and redirect” approach. This might look like changing the subject to something that you know they enjoy talking about, or bringing up something exciting that’s coming up, like a family get-together. 

Keep your own anxiety in check

This can be challenging as their caregiver, especially if seeing your loved one experience anxiety elicits anxiety and stress in you. But it’s essential that you keep your own anxiety in check when supporting an elderly parent with anxiety. Consider doing some deep breathing or visualization before your visit or conversation. Seeking counseling or therapy for your own anxiety is a good idea too. 

How lifestyle changes can help soothe anxiety

Lifestyle changes aren’t the only way to address anxiety, but they can be a powerful tool and play an important role in managing anxiety symptoms.

Here are some tips to consider:

• Help your parent establish a predictable daily schedule—this can act as a reassuring anchor during a time of internal chaos
• Audit your loved one’s “information diet,” and help them limit exposure to distressing news programs, doomscrolling on their phone, and other media habits that can increase stress and catastrophic thinking
• Encourage daily exercise, which can increase endorphins and help combat anxiety; even a walk around the block can help
• Suggest sensory changes, like less harsh lighting or calming music, to down regulate their nervous system
• Encourage daily self-care habits, such as journaling, meditating, and deep breathing exercises
• Help your parent find meaningful activities and opportunities for socialization, as human connection is known to help combat anxiety
• Identify any foods or substances your loved one might be consuming that can increase anxiety, such as nicotine, excessive caffeine, chocolate, or soda 

How to help calm a panic attack 

If your loved one is experiencing an acute spike in anxiety along with symptoms such as a racing heartbeat, feeling of impending doom, trembling, and shortness of breath, they might be experiencing a panic attack. Importantly, when older people experience physical symptoms like these, it’s necessary that you seek medical attention for them to rule out heart attacks and other medical issues.

To help an older adult with severe anxiety or experiencing panic attacks, keep these tips in mind:

• Practice deep breathing techniques with your loved one, such as 4-7-8 breathing, where you inhale for four counts, hold for seven counts, and then exhale for eight counts
• Use in-the-moment grounding techniques, such as naming five blue objects in the room where you are, or the 3-3-3 technique, where you name three sounds you hear, three things you see, and then you move three parts of your body 

Things not to do

Though your instinct may be to tell your loved one to “just calm down” during a panic attack, this never works, and can actually increase anxiety. You also want to avoid raising your voice, dismissing their fears, leaving them alone, or harshly criticizing them. 

Co-regulate with your loved one

If you are with your loved one during a panic attack, the best thing you can do is remain calm. Having a calming and grounding presence with you during a panic attack can help downregulate your nervous system, a concept known as co-regulation. 

How therapy can help older adults with anxiety

As you consider how you can best support an older adult with anxiety, it’s important to understand your limits as a caregiver. Yes, you want to do everything in your power to help, but often, people with anxiety require professional help to improve mental health.

Therapy isn’t replacement for your support; you still play an important role in your loved one’s life. In fact, you can help an older parent by finding a therapist for them, encouraging them to go, and even accompanying them to sessions. 

Combatting therapy resistance

There is plenty of research-based evidence that psychotherapy is an effective method for treating anxiety in the elderly population. Still, many seniors are resistant to the idea of talk therapy.

Many older adults have antiquated ideas about therapy, including that seeking mental health support is a sign of weakness. You can help your loved one by explaining how seeking help is actually a sign of strength and praising them for considering this important step.

Other seniors might think they are “too old to change.” You can consider reframing therapy instead as a neutral, compassionate space for them to process the life transitions that come with aging. 

How Sailor Health can help

Even for older adults open to therapy, financial concerns can be a barrier to seeking care. But there’s good news: Medicare covers therapy for anxiety.

Sailor Health provides exceptional support from older and experienced therapists who all accept Medicare. We can help your loved one address a wide range of anxiety-related issues.

Most of our Medicare patients pay little to nothing out of pocket. Not only that, patients access therapy from the comfort of home, either online or over the phone. Getting started is easy, and therapy can begin as little as 24 hours after. 

FAQ

Can anxiety be a sign of illness in the elderly?

Yes, sometimes anxiety symptoms, like fast heartbeat, chest pain, nausea, or trouble breathing, can be a sign of illness in an older adult. That’s why it’s important to have a doctor rule out any health-related causes of anxiety symptoms.

What is the best type of therapy for anxiety in the elderly?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is known to be effective at treating seniors with anxiety. But many types of therapy can effectively treat anxiety.

How do I deal with an elderly parent who refuses help with anxiety?

If your loved one is refusing help with anxiety, you can listen to their concerns, share your own experiences with seeking help for mental health issues, offer multiple care options, and reassure them of the increased independence and wellness they will experience once their anxiety is under better control. 

References

1. Shafiee, A., Mohammadi, I., Rajai, S., Jafarabady, K., & Abdollahi, A. (2024). Global prevalence of anxiety symptoms and its associated factors in older adults: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of general and family medicine, 26(2), 116–127. https://doi.org/10.1002/jgf2.750 
2. Welzel, F. D., Luppa, M., Pabst, A., Pentzek, M., Fuchs, A., Weeg, D., Bickel, H., Weyerer, S., Werle, J., Wiese, B., Oey, A., Brettschneider, C., König, H. H., Heser, K., van den Bussche, H., Eisele, M., Maier, W., Scherer, M., Wagner, M., & Riedel-Heller, S. G. (2021). Incidence of Anxiety in Latest Life and Risk Factors. Results of the AgeCoDe/AgeQualiDe Study. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(23), 12786. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182312786 
3. American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry (2025) Patient article. https://aagponline.org/patient-article/anxiety-and-older-adults-overcoming-worry-and-fear/ 
4. Gooblar, J., & Beaudreau, S.  (2018, December 20). Anxiety Disorders in Late Life. Oxford Research Encyclopedia of Psychology. Retrieved 2 Feb. 2026. https://doi.org/10.1093/acrefore/9780190236557.013.415 
5. Zheng, J., Xu, J., & Liu, D. (2024). The effect of activities of daily living on anxiety in older adult people: the mediating role of social participation. Frontiers in public health, 12, 1450826. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2024.1450826 
6. Anxiety & Depression Association of America (n.d.) Older adults. https://adaa.org/find-help/by-demographics/older-adults 
7. Wuthrich, V. M., Dickson, S. J., Pehlivan, M., Chen, J. T., Zagic, D., Ghai, I., Neelakandan, A., & Johnco, C. (2024). Efficacy of low intensity interventions for geriatric depression and anxiety - A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of affective disorders, 344, 592–599. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2023.10.093 
8. Kwak, Y. T., Yang, Y., & Koo, M. S. (2017). Anxiety in Dementia. Dementia and neurocognitive disorders, 16(2), 33–39. https://doi.org/10.12779/dnd.2017.16.2.33